The long walk home
by gina101
Summary: Set after the battle of the cirlce of the black thorne. Buffy and the scoobies return for the fight but Buffy tragically loses her life. leaving Spike and the rest to train the slayers. so what happens when they take over wolfram and hart and Spike trains
1. Prolouge

**The long walk home.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or Angel.**

**Hey, hope you guys like my idea, it's one I've had for quite a while and have wrote it with my close friend Jess. We've known each other for 9 years and write in the same style, so we thought it would be good to write this. **

**Hope you like, Gina n Jess xxx**

"**_Angel there's too many!"_**

"**_Just keep fighting!"_**

"_**Wow what the fuck was that?"**_

**_They both turned and continued fighting laughing as if it was a trick of light, then they heard a familiar voice._**

**_Buffy and the Scoobie's stood on the corner leading a group of slayers when Buffy says, the only way that Buffy could, "hey boys!"_**

_**Spike and Angel slowly turned towards her when she said, "Miss me?" then, a whizzing sound made it's way past Spike's head, before long they realize that the trick of light was but the axe from the battle wit the First, which now perched itself into the palm of Buffy's newly manicured hand.**_

_**Without warning, Buffy spun round and cut the head off a demon that was lurking behind her, she did this in one clean cut, **_

_**Whilst everyone stared at her in amazement at the precisement of her move, she truly was the perfect slayer. The chosen one.**_

_**Spike's thoughts**_

_**Her radiant beauty glows from her like the suns gentle rays bouncing from clear, sparkling crystal. Even when she's fighting, she always manages to stay perfect in my eyes. Fro over a century I have lived, but never have I met, and never will meet anyone quite like Miss Buffy Ann Summers. **_

_**Angel clicked his fingers numerous times eventually bringing Spike back to the present.**_

**_Suddenly, out of no where, a dragon swooped down from hells skies forcing Spike to duck, before Buffy's glowing red axe killed the beast, again another clean cut. She smiled at Spike, her gaze, one of beauty and perfection. _**

_**Everyone carried on fighting; they knew they were going to win.**_

_**Spike took his gaze from Buffy's long enough to realize everyone was wrong. They were not going to win, but lose.**_

_**Spike shouted over to the rest of his friends. They all looked ahead in horror. More demons and dragons were charging forwards, claiming the battle field their own.**_

"_**I have a plan." Willow shouted over the noises of slaughter and war, the blood curdling screams of demons dropping one by one at the hands of the slayer. Everyone looked hopeful as the red haired Wicca explained, their job was simple, everyone stay behind her letting Willow do the rest.**_

_**Standing behind her everyone saw a bright amber glow from Willow's hands. It grew bigger and bigger until the energy bolt was big enough. **_

_**Willow sent it flying forwards. Within seconds, everything in front of Willow was gone. Dead. They had won.**_

_**People cheered as Spike looked for Buffy in the sea of people. The last he had seen of her was in the fight. **_

_**A bad feeling surged in Spike's gut. No, she couldn't be. Could she?**_

_**Spike began digging in the rubble, shouting Buffy's name. everyone watched.**_

_**Then, he found her. Coughing and gasping for breath. **_

"_**Buffy." Spike moaned, tears rolling off his face and onto hers.**_

"_**Spike, hey. Don't cry. I love you." Buffy said between final moments.**_

"_**Buffy! NO.! Spike shook her lifeless body. "Don't leave me." He said almost a whisper.**_

_**Buffy's eyes began to open again. Everyone gathered round.**_

"_**I no you're a monster, but you're a man to me." Buffy said.**_

_**Then she was gone. Bowed out a hero. In true slayer style.**_

**Hope you like so far guys!! Keep reading and give me and jess lots of comments!**

**Gina n jess**

**Xxx Xxx **


	2. Chapter 1

**Six months later**

**Spike sat at his desk, loathing himself. He had been feeling this way for six months now, and it seemed like it was never ending. It started when she died. He couldn't bear to think about her, he couldn't say or think her name. Buffy that was it. The sound of that name went through him. The pain was too much for him. **

**After that dreadful night, six months ago, he, Angel and the rest of the Scoobies took it on themselves to train the slayers. They had taken over Wolfram and hart and knew it was all going to be worth it in the end. Everyone except Spike, the pain seemed never ending. Every night to get him to sleep, he would down a bottle of whiskey until it knocked him out long enough to not think about what he could have done to save her. Nothing of course, he and everyone kept telling him that, but he couldn't believe it. **

**They say vampires don't feel pain. Well this one did. The pain was unbearable. The kind of pain that people kill themselves over. Spike had thought about that too. In fact, he had thought about everything. **

**He had sorted a will and a suicide note. But then something came up and he never got round to it. That's what his life seemed to be recently, never getting around to anything. One problem after another. **

**Spike buried his head in his arms and cradles his hair in between his finger tips. He felt like pulling it out, getting rid of the old and starting with the new. That's what people said he should do, it sounded harsh but he considered it. **

**Suddenly, Angel burst in with a sword in one hand and an axe in the other.**

"**You ready?" he asked.**

"**Ready for what?" Spike asked lifting his head up. Angel had been the closest to Spike these last few days. He didn't know what he'd do without him.**

"**We're going hunting." Spike said walking further into the Wolfram and Hart office that used to be his. He looked around, in every corner. It had changed so much.**

"**I'm not in the mood." Spike replied putting his head deep in his hands once again.**

"**Come on. You need to get out there." Angel sat on the corner of the desk and forced Spike to look at him. "A new girl's just come in. moved all the way from Mexico with her watcher. However he died and now she's stuck in the middle of L.A with no one. We need to find her."**

**Spike knew Angel was right. He just wasn't in the mood. **

"**I only need back up." Angel did his broody puppy dog eyes on Spike. It always worked.**

"**Fine. Back up. That's all."**

**Angel held his hands up in mock surrender.**

"**Lets get to work." Spike and Angel stood up and did a 'high five.'**

"**Let's go, brother," Spike said and the pair walked out.**

**The alleys were always dark in L.A, just like the ones in Sunnydale. They had a strange sense of 'have I been in this one before?' all of them looked the same. People used them as short cuts to get home form late night drunken sessions. Most of them people didn't return, or if they did people said they changed. **

**As she walked down the fifth one, that she swore she had been down before, Madison cringed. She hated alleys, always had, always will.**

**Her blonde hair blew in the wind from under her black wooly hat. **

**She wore her leather pants tight but she was still able to fight. Her long black leather jacket flapped making her look mysterious. She was a woman of many mysteries. Guys would wonder what she was hiding, they loved the sense of danger she gave them. However, most guys she went with either got killed or scared away. That was understandable with the job she did. She had been a slayer for over a year now, born, raised and trained in Mexico. Well, semi-trained. Her watcher was taking her somewhere, she didn't know where and before she knew it he was dead and she was stuck in L.A. **

**She was only 19 years of age, a bit young to be killing vampires she thought, but that was her calling who was she to screw up fait?**

**She had never actually killed a vampire and was reluctant on being a slayer. She was young, beautiful and had her whole life in front of her one minute, and the next, she was talking to this guy about vampires and demons. Life sometimes had an uncanny way of choosing your path for you.**

**Walking down the alley, Madison heard something, a snap of a twig maybe? No, too loud. A bin falling over? No, too quiet. **

**Whatever it was, she was ready. Well she thought she was.**

"**Hello?" she called out, her accent a strong Mexican one. **

**Nothing. Silence. Maybe it was juts her imagination.**

**Probably, everyone said she had a strong imagination. When she was young she used to make up stories of vampires and demons. Ones where a girl thought them off. It always cheered her up after she watched horror films. If she had a nightmare, the girl would simply fight them off. Everyone laughed at her of course, but she didn't care. She was different and liked it.**

**She heard the noise again, this time so loud it forced her to turn around. Nothing was there. Turning back to where she was headed, four vampires smiled with hunger. She was scared now. Fear controlled her.**

**Her head told her she should fight, but her slayer instincts told her to run. What she had learnt was to follow her instincts. She ran. **

**Meanwhile, Spike and Angel sat in the park waiting. Waiting for any sign, a noise, a scream. Then, there it came. A scream of a girl. Angel ran after the noise. Spike stayed where he was. He couldn't move, this was his first time out of the office since the accident. He couldn't save this girl, everything he touched turned to crap. He screwed everyone's life up. **

**Angel carried on running, desperate to reach the girl in time. He looked behind him and Spike wasn't there. **

**Angel wondered whether to run back for him, but then the screams got louder.**

**Angel ran faster and faster to the noise, he turned to vamp mode and was ready, ready for action, read to save this girls life.**

**Madison ran and screamed. She looked backwards to see if she was losing them. They were close behind. Panic set in again and she ran faster. Until she bumped into something. Madison fell to the ground. **

**When she looked up she was still dazed, but fear got the better of her again. Looking down at her she saw another vampire. He was tall with brown hair and wore a leather coat with a shirt. He was handsome. **

**Madison screamed again.**

**Angel held his hand out to the girl. She was scared and screaming. He didn't mean to scare her. Angel got rid of the vamp face and held his hand out to the girl. She cried, Angel sensed she was scared, she probably thought he was going to kill her. Totally the opposite. **

"**It's okay; I'm not here to….." Angel was cut off.**

**He felt a sharp pain in his back. His heart was on fire. Someone had staked him. **

**Angel fell to the floor, a pile of dust.**

**The vampire behind Angel was the one who wanted to kill Madison.**

**He smiled a hungry sensation in his eyes. The smell of blood filled his nostrils, a glint lit up his blackened eyes. **

**Then, he too was dust; the guy stood behind him was tallish, blonde hair and pale. Tears rolled down his face as he went up to the first pile of dust. The one where the first vampire was. He picked up the dust and cried.**

"**Angel." He moaned. Dropping the dust and falling to his knees.**

**Madison got up off the floor; she went up to the guy and placed a hand on his back. She pattered it softly. **

"**You okay?" she asked.**

**The guy got up and wiped his eyes. He collected up the dust in an empty ring box. And stood up.**

"**You must be Madison. Madison Sanchez." Madison nodded. **

**Spike held out a hand for her to stand up, she took it.**

"**How do you know my name?" she asked confused as the guy started to walk off.**

**Pulling out some keys the guy relied, "follow me." **

**Before long the two were in a classic Mercedes Benz and speeding off to Wolfram and hart. **

**To be continued…….**

**Hope you like! Jess and Gina xxx**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"**Cool, what is this place?" Madison asked following Spike through Wolfram and Hart. **

"**Spike!" Someone called over running after the blonde vampire. He turned to see Gunn and Willow running towards them.**

"**This the girl?" Willow asked excited. She had been the first enthusiastic person onboard the whole saving the world thing. She was the one who came up with the Slayerettes name, Xander the Scoobies. **

"**Yeah, that's her." Spike said walking away into his office and closing the doors behind him.**

"**Hey! I have a name you know." Madison said banging on the door of Spike's office.**

**The door opened and Spike popped his head out.**

"**What do you want?" he asked his face not looking at all impressed with the new slayer.**

"**Well, what do I do now?"**

"**Look. Love, firstly don't give me the puppy dog eyes. I'm not the one's training you, they are. _Pointing to Willow and Gunn. _And secondly, never, and I mean never, bang on my door like that again. Okay pet?"**

"**Fine." Madison pouted and Spike shut the door once again.**

"**Gosh what's his problem?" Madison said before turning to Willow and Gunn. "So… what now?" **

**Spike sat at his desk cradling the ring box and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he scrunched his face up to cry. **

**Spike took a swig of whiskey and threw the bottle to the wall.**

"**You okay?" Gunn asked closing the door behind him.**

"**What have I told you about barging in like that? Don't you people understand knocking?!" Spike fell to his knees in front of his desk. **

**Gunn came over to comfort him. He knew how hard the vampire had taken things over the past year. **

"**Where's Angel." Spike didn't answer, just cried further. "Spike? Where's Angel?" spike placed the empty ring box in Gunn's hand. Gunn opened the box, as soon as he did, he knew. Angel was dead.**

**Willow walked in the great gym in Wolfram and Hart followed by Madison who was taking in the site around her. She had never been in such a big room like this in her life. She had been brought up in a small town in Mexico City, by her auntie and uncle. Her parents had died when she was young, her mum whilst giving birth to her and her dad shortly after. Doctors said he died of heart failure, but Madison knew it was of a broken heart. **

"**Girls, this is Madison." Willow introduced Madison to the mass of slayers in the gym. **

**Kennedy was the first to greet the new arrival. **

"**Hey. The names Kennedy." She said holding out a hand.**

"**Madison, Madison Sanchez."**

"**So. Ever slain a vampire?"**

"**No. I didn't even know I was a slayer until my uncles friend left me in the middle of nowhere and I was found by that blonde guy and the one that's dead."**

"**What? Angel's dead?" Willow asked coming over to Madison.**

"**Yeah, I think that's what his name was. But he was a vampire."**

"**A vampire with a soul. Just like Spike." Willow dashed off in a matter of seconds running to tell Giles and the others.**

**The room went silent of the news of the vampire's death; the slayers looked shocked and gave each other worried looks.**

"**So, what was that blonde guys deal?" everyone walked away from Madison leaving her all alone in the gym.**

"**So, who's going to take over now?" Andrew asked the group who was gathered in Spike's office learning of the news of Angel's death. **

**Everyone looked at each other, no one knowing what to say. **

"**I think Spike should do it." Andrew said making Spike look up from his office desk.**

"**What? No." the English vamp said.**

"**Yeah, why not? Spike you were Angel's second. You were like brothers." Willow added.**

"**No. I can't do this without him." Spike stood up and walked to the door.**

"**Spike." Dawn stood up, making Spike stop and turn to look at the young women. **

"**I know this is hard. It's hard on all of us. With Buffy dying." Spike winced at the name.**

"**And now Angel. I know what its like to lose someone; I lost my mum and sister. Spike, we're here for you. Just let us help."**

"**You don't know, you don't understand." Spike stormed out of his office only to be greeted by Madison.**

"**Hey, guy." **

"**The names Spike. And, were you listening?"**

"**Kinda." Madison replied back guiltily with her mouth full of cookie. "Cookie?" She asked holding the chocolate chip cookie out.**

"**No." Spike stormed off to the elevator. **

"**Hey." Madison called after Spike. Spike ignored her and waited for the elevator. Madison stood next to him still eating the cookie.**

**She found it funny to annoy this Spike guy; he got so mad so quickly.**

"**So, who's Buffy?"**

"**Don't you ever say that name. Ever!" Madison knew she had crossed the line. She had taken things a little too far this time.**

"**I'm sorry. I…"**

"**You what?" Spike asked getting in her face.**

**Suddenly Madison was saved by the elevator. Spike disappeared not looking once at Madison. He knew he shouldn't have gone off like that, he regretted it afterwards. **

**To be continued……. **


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Madison woke up to screaming girls all waiting to use the one bathroom. She hated this, sharing a bathroom; she was guaranteed to be the last. **

**Madison had a better idea.**

**Spike laid in a cold sweat once again. He had the same recurring dream again. The one where she blamed him for not saving her. In this dream she called him a pathetic worm and a monster. Spike closed his eyes again and tried to get back to sleep.**

**His efforts were ruined by the loud knock on his door. **

**_Who could this be?_ Spike thought, half asleep. **

**He got out of his king size bed and answered the door. **

**Stood on the other side was Madison, she was wearing her pajamas and had a toothbrush in her mouth. **

"**Can I use your bathroom?" **

**Spike leaned to the side and let Madison into his place. It was big, leather couch, a view over L.A and a bedroom with an en-suit bathroom. **

**It was decorated in dark colors, ones that matched Spike's personality. **

**Although it was slightly messy and the floor was covered in whiskey bottles, oh and it reeked of cigarettes, it was a pleasant enough place. **

"**Gosh don't you ever clean up in here." Madison said. Spike ignored the young slayer and sat on the couch. **

"**Oh, I'm sorry. I tent to ramble."**

"**Yeah, you do." Spike fired back.**

"**Sorry."**

"**It's okay. I just like to be left alone these days." **

**Madison sat next to Spike.**

"**why? If you don't mind me asking."**

"**I do." Spike stood up and opened the door to the bathroom.**

"**You wana use my bathroom, there it is. Just. Just don't take long you have a lesson with Faith and the rest of them."**

**Madison stood up and walked to the bathroom where Spike's out-stretch hand was holding out the door for her. **

"**I'm sorry."**

"**Just don't talk to me."**

**Faith was teaching the slayers advanced slayer moves when the door opened and Madison came in. everyone turned around to look at her, Madison went up to Faith.**

"**I'm sorry I'm late."**

"**Why are you late?" Faith asked making Madison feel ten inches small. She gradually felt even smaller as the conversation went on. **

"**I was using Spike's bathroom and then I got lost…."**

"**You were with Spike?" Faith arched an eyebrow.**

"**Yeah."**

"**Can he also say the same?" **

"**Yeah. I swear."**

"**Drop and give me 20"**

"**Uh?"**

"**You wana make that 50, slayer?"**

"**No. I'm sorry."**

"**Don't be. Just do it."**

**Reluctantly Madison dropped to the floor in push-up position. **

"**Come on. We don't have all day."**

**Madison knocked on Spike's office door, she then entered.**

**Spike was sat at his desk, hands in head and sleeping.**

"**Hey." Madison shouted waking Spike up. **

"**Jesus Christ. You could have given me a heart attack."**

"**Yeah but your already dead." Madison joked.**

"**What do you want?" Spike asked waking himself up.**

"**Faith had such a go at me today in gym. I mean can you believe it?"**

"**From Faith. Yeah." A little smirk appeared on Spike's face.**

"**Was that a smirk form you Mr. Spikey?" Madison poked him in his chest.**

**Spike laughed and tried to pull her away. He then noticed that she reminded him of her. Her looks, her smell, the way she acted. **

"**Don't." spike was now back to serious mode.**

"**I'm sorry."**

"**I have work to do. And, don't you need to sleep. You have a field trip tonight."**

"**Oh yeah, how fun. Maybe when we get back me and the girls can braid each others hair and talk about boys." Spike laughed. "Bite me. All the girls hate me."**

"**I'm sure they don't."**

"**They do. And to be honest, I'd rather hang with you than go in the bedroom with them."**

"**Well, you can't stay here. Why don't you go in my bedroom? You know where it is."**

**Spike handed Madison the key card.**

"**Okay, on one condition, you tell Faith I was with you this morning that's why I was late."**

"**I can't she'll think something's going on."**

"**Fine looks like I'm staying here."**

"**Okay, okay you win." Spike mockingly put his hands up in the air; Madison took the key card off Spike and was gone.**

**Faith, Willow and Dawn were in the private canteen for those in charge. They really liked having the power they did. Especially Faith. **

**Giles and Spike walked in followed by Xander. They each went to the doughnuts; expect Spike who went only to his private blood stash. **

"**Faith can i have a word?" Spike asked placing a mug of blood into the microwave. **

"**Yeah sure, you can have more if you want."**

"**Uh?" Spike looked confused.**

"**Never mind. So what's up?"**

"**It's about the new girl, Madison." The microwave popped and Spike took his blood out of the microwave, it was hot. But that never mattered to Spike. He was a vampire after all. **

"**Yeah, she said she was with you this morning." Everyone stopped and looked at Spike to se what his response was.**

"**Yeah, she was using my bathroom."**

"**You sure that's all?" Xander asked standing next to Giles and placing a warm jelly doughnut in his mouth.**

"**What are you saying?" Spike wasn't impressed with what the mortal had said.**

"**I'm saying, she's a young attractive girl. And you two are close."**

"**She's nothing more than a slayer to me."**

**Spike stormed out forgetting his blood. He didn't need it, he needed something stronger. Much stronger.**

**Madison returned to her dorm with the other slayers looking at her. **

"**Where were you?" Vi asked looking suspicious.**

"**Out."**

"**Look, Madison. I'm just a concerned friend here. I don't want you getting into trouble. Do we girls?" **

**Everyone shook their heads.**

"**Look, what can you tell me about Buffy?"**

"**Sit down." Kennedy said.**

"**Buffy was a slyer." Kennedy started.**

"**She was a legend." Someone else said. Everyone agreed.**

"**Yeah, she was the one who had the idea to make us all slayers." **

"**So, what does this after do with Spike?" Madison asked.**

"**He loved her. And she loved him, very much. But because she was the slayer she didn't get together with him." Explained Kennedy.**

"**Well she did. But it didn't last. No one knows why." Rona stepped in. **

"**So what happened to her?" **

"**She died. There was this battle that we were in, and Spike died in that. But then he came back to life and stayed in LA. And then we came and helped this other vampire, Angel, to fight in this battle with the circle of the black thorn."**

**Everyone nodded.**

"**It was wicked, Willow did this thing where she sent out an energy bolt and killed the entire demons. But, unfortunately, it got Buffy. She died in Spike's arms."**

**Madison now realized what Spike's problem was, he lost the love of his life. She didn't pity nor feel sorry for the guy; she wanted to be his friend. But he was holding back, wasn't letting anyone in. Madison was going to change that. **


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**The graveyard was dark and scary, the trees huddled closely together adding to the atmosphere and making it even darker. **

**The night had settled in hours ago yet morning seemed so far away.**

**Madison had never been on '_patrol'_ before; this was all new to her. She was scared, normally she was a tough bitch, but walking through the graveyard took that away from her, left her paralyzed, and scared. **

**She wished Spike were there. Maybe he would make her feel better.**

**Suddenly, the big group of slayers Madison was with was attacked. They came out of nowhere, five of them. One got Madison from behind and pinned her to a tree. She stared her attacker in the eyes for quite some time. **

"**Thought you weren't coming?" Madison said laughing at Spike. He was pretty strong, and very handsome. A creature of the night, Madison liked that.**

**Spike let Madison go. All the other slayers left as they realized they had been attacked only by Spike, Andrew, Giles, Gunn and Xander.**

"**Faith told you to do this didn't she?" Kennedy asked, she was the leader of the group. Faith said it was because she was the strongest, but everyone else knew it was because she was sleeping with willow.**

**The girls walked through the graveyard, descending further into the darkness.**

"**You've got to watch your backs at all times girls." Kennedy was saying, just so everyone knew she was the boss.**

"**Really." Madison said sarcastically. Spike laughed, they were tagging along at the back talking to each other. **

"**What did you say Blondie?" Kennedy snapped turning to face the blonde slayer.**

"**Okay, firstly." Madison said addressing Kennedy. "Never call me Blondie. And…"**

"**What you going to about it? Blondie." Kennedy shot back.**

**Madison clenched her fists but was held back by Spike. Everyone else gathered around to watch, Madison had been the only one to confront Kennedy. **

"**Kennedy, she was talking to me. So why don't you shut up pet and get back to the job Faith set you. Now do you understand?"**

**Kennedy reluctantly nodded and went back to the front. Everyone turned back round and carried on walking.**

"**Thanks." Madison said facing Spike who had just let her go.**

"**Don't mention it. I don't really like Kennedy much anyway. Just here cause she's shagging Willow." Spike took out a cigarette and lit it.**

"**Come on. Keep moving pet." **

**The slayers all went to their dorms, it was six in the morning and they had to be up at nine. It was going to be yet another long day. Madison watched the others climb into bed and was soon gone out the door. **

**Making her way down the hall she was greeted by Kennedy. She had a harsh look on her face when she saw Madison.**

"**Oi, Blondie!" She shouted. Forcing Madison to turn around with her fists clenched yet again.**

"**I told you never call me…"**

"**What are you doing out of your dorm?" Kennedy demanded.**

"**I'm going to. You know what, it's none of your business." Madison walked off and Kennedy followed her. Steeping in front of her and cutting her path Kennedy smirked at Madison.**

"**What?"**

"**Your going to see Spike aren't you?"**

"**No."**

"**Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Kennedy said and walked off leaving Madison all alone.**

**Madison looked back at Kennedy walking away; she then carried on to her destination.**

**Spike woke up to a knock at his door. _What now?_ He thought to himself.**

**He opened the door and just as he thought, Madison was stood outside.**

**This time she was wearing her clothes she had worn on patrolling. **

"**Hey." She said and welcomed herself in.**

"**What do you want?" Spike asked. He was tired and annoyed. It had been a long night, the first night he had been out since Angel died, she second since she died.**

"**Well, I kinda figured, since you said I could use your bathroom."**

"**That was yesterday."**

"**Yeah well, our bathroom is crowded." Madison sat down on one of Spike's leather chairs.**

"**Okay, you may use my bathroom."**

"**Thanks. So I figured, I could like stay here some nights."**

"**What?" Spike laughed at the idea. **

"**Please, I don't wana be late for anymore of Faith's lessons. Please."**

"**Fine. You're sleeping on the couch." **

"**Fine. Thank you."**

"**Okay pet, goodnight." Spike headed back to his bedroom he turned and looked at Madison.**

"**Goodnight." He said bluntly, looking at her in the eyes. He then gazed downwards.**

"**You loved her didn't you?" Madison asked walking over to Spike.**

"**Goodnight Madison." He said then disappeared behind the brown oak door. Tears ran down his face, the new slayer had reminded him of her. She spoke her name. She must pay.**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Madison woke up to the smell of fresh coffee. As she opened her eyes she saw Spike sat at the end of the leather sofa. **

"**Hey." Madison said waking up.**

"**Hi."**

"**What time is it?" Madison looked around for a clock.**

"**Oh, about ten."**

"**What! Shit. I have class."**

"**Hey, it's okay. Sit." Spike pushed Madison back down.**

"**What's wrong with you?" she demanded.**

"**You. You bitch!" Madison had fear in her eyes and saw anger in his. "You can never! And I mean never speak her name again!"**

**Spike screamed and turned into vamp mode.**

"**Oh my god. You're a vampire."**

**Spike growled and Madison ran out of the room leaving all her stuff behind.**

**Running down the hall back to her dorm Madison ran into Dawn.**

"**Hey, what's wrong? Shouldn't you be in class?"**

"**He tried to kill me." Madison said and showed Dawn the scratch on her arm. **

"**Who did?" Dawn gasped.**

"**Spike. He's a vampire."**

"**Yeah. He's a vampire with a soul. What… what happened?" Dawn asked leading Madison to her room.**

**In Dawn and Andrew's room, Dawn took out the first aid kit and wiped the blood off Madison's arm.**

"**So, what happened?" Dawn asked. **

"**I asked him about Buffy." **

**Dawn dropped Madison's arm.**

"**You know you shouldn't ask questions about stuff you don't know."**

"**I'm sorry. She was your sister wasn't she?"**

**Dawn glared at Madison.**

"**I'm doing it again aren't I?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Sorry. She sounds like she was great."**

"**She was. She is"**

"**All the other slayers think I'm trying to take her place." Madison said with a lone tear in her eye.**

"**Yeah, that's what I've heard too." **

"**I'm not, I wouldn't dream of it."**

"**I know." Dawn said finishing patching Madison up.**

"**Listen, I don't really feel like going to class today. Any chance I could have the day off?"**

"**Come with me."**

**Madison followed Dawn to wherever they were going. **

**They had stopped off at Madison's dorm first so she could get changed. She was not wearing a white jumper with a black vest top over it, also some tight boot cut jeans and flat dolly shoes. She wore her blonde hair up. She was beautiful just like Buffy was.**

**When they arrived at their location they were standing outside the private staff area. Madison had never dreamed of going in here. Wolfram and Hart was so big, unlike anything Madison had ever seen before. It had at least 38 floors possibly more. **

**Dawn entered and Madison followed. They were standing in a big room, it had its own private canteen area and chairs and sofas as far as the eye could see. Everything matched, the tables, chairs even the floor and ceiling. It was magnificent, like being in a dream. **

"**Hey Dawnie." Willow said peering over her laptop. Sat at the side of her was Kennedy.**

**She had a sour expression on her face when she saw Madison.**

"**What's she doing in here?" she snapped at Dawn pointing to Madison as if she was a diseased rat. **

"**She's with me." Dawn snapped back. "Guys we have a problem."**

**Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Dawn.**

"**What's wrong now?" Xander asked, he was itching under his eye patch.**

"**Spike attacked Madison."**

**Everyone gasped.**

"**Someone needs to talk to him." Willow said. **

"**He could do this to someone else." Kennedy said.**

"**No." Madison said and everyone looked. "I have a plan."**

**Madison walked out and went to find Spike.**

**Luckily for Madison, Spike was in the gym when she found him.**

**She opened the door and he turned round. He didn't look impressed.**

"**Thought I'd scared you off." Spike grunted hitting the punch bag with all his strength. If he hit it any harder it would come off the ceiling.**

"**You can't scare me off that easily." Madison shot back.**

"**What do you want?"**

"**An apology?" **

"**Not gona happen. Pet."**

"**You called Buffy pet. Didn't you?" Madison just said the wrong thing again. However, this time, she knew what she was doing.**

"**I told you never to say her name."**

"**Why? Just because she left you." Spike closed his eyes trying to block the young girl out.**

"**Spike, your taking this out on everyone. Why not take it out on her? She's the one who left you, not everyone else."**

"**Shut up!" Spike lashed out and hit her. "I told you to shut up."**

"**It's not going to work Spike." She punched him back.**

**Before they knew it the pair was in a fight, a battle to the death. Unless Madison could stop him in time. **

"**Come on Spike, what about Angel? I bet he told you he wasn't going to leave you. But he did." Spike was punching harder and harder now. It was starting to hurt Madison. **

"**I said shut up." Spike shouted again and again.**

"**You're scared." Madison ducked one of Spike's kicks. "You're scared because everyone leaves you. Not me, I'm here for you. We all are. Stop fighting it."**

**Spike fell to the floor in front of Madison. He was crying. She had won.**

"**I'm really sorry." Spike said to Madison. He felt really guilty for hurting her; she was only 19, still a kid.**

"**It's okay. My first war bruise, I think I'll wear it with pride." **

**Spike laughed. **

"**Yeah, still, I'm sorry."**

"**Stop apologizing" Madison hit him playfully.**

"**Okay." Spike held his hands up in mock surrender. **

**Madison giggled like a little girl, she hadn't laughed this hard over a guy before. **

"**so, tell me about Buffy."**

"**She was, amazing. At first I wanted to kill her, but then. Then I fell in love with her. That was after I got a chip, then I got a soul."**

"**I bet you miss her." **

"**I do."**

"**Well, I guess everything happens for a reason and you just after move on."**

**Madison stood up and put a hand on Spike's shoulder as she walked past him.**

"**Night."**

"**Yeah, night."**


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**All the girls gathered round in a crowd as Madison walked into the dorm.**

**They all giggled as she walked in.**

"**Okay, what's going on?" Madison said bluntly.**

"**Nothing." One of the girls said.**

"**We just heard about you and Spike." Another said, after a long pause.**

"**What about me and Spike?" Madison was seriously pissed off. **

"**That you were, sleeping in his apartment." A red haired slayer blurted out.**

"**Yeah I am, just so I can get away from you. And for the record, there is nothing going on between me and him. And if you say anything else, I will not be held responsible for my actions." Madison stormed out of the dorm, _how could they think that? That's disgusting. _**

**Dawn laid in her bed reading, so much had happened in the past few years. So much good, so much bad. Dawn knew that everything happened for a reason, she understood that. She just hated the fact that her sister was dead and also her mother. Life seemed so cruel yet so kind at the same time. It didn't make sense. **

**One good thing she got from all this was Andrew, he had been through a lot, they all had. But Andrew had changed the most. He went from wanabe evil to good and so much in love with Dawn. **

**They had first starting seeing each other when Andrew moved into hers and Buffy's flat in Rome. It was a nice little flat, they had there own house maid which meant the beds were always made and the flat always clean. It was nice living in Rome; the people were friendly, well, almost friendly. Dawn remembered when Buffy got into a fight on the streets when this guy pushed past her. Dawn never forgot his face when Buffy picked him up by his ankles and dropped him on the side walk, _good times,_ Dawn laughed at the memory. **

"**Hey." Andrew said walking into the bedroom. **

"**Hey." Dawn replied placing her book on the bedside table. Andrew took off his shoes and coat and sat on the end of the bed. Dawn started to give him a backrub.**

"**Do you think Spike's seeing that new girl?" Andrew asked randomly.**

"**Madison? No." dawn stopped giving him a backrub and sat at the side of him.**

"**You sure? Cause if you ask me, they're really close."**

"**I'm sure." Dawn got up and stormed into the bathroom. Andrew sat alone wondering what was wrong with Dawn. Then he gave up, he put it down to PMS and went to sleep.**

**The next day all the slayers were gathered in the library. It was one of Giles' classes, this meant, an easy lesson. Andrew was helping Giles out, his PA so to speak. **

**Andrew was cleaver and could read several different languages, most used by some demons. However, he was so dorky. Some of the slayers didn't know why Dawn had picked him. Obviously she wasn't going for his personality. Or was she? Maybe she was one of those girls who were into that stuff. No one knew the reason, only Dawn.**

**In Giles' class they learnt about the history of slayers and demons and that. In groups they were looking at books. Books on vampires and demons, slayers you name any horrible gross creature Giles had a book on it. He had big books, thin books, thick ones and small ones. One's with dusty covers, some new, some old. In other words, Giles's had books. And lots of them. **

**Madison's group consisted of the girls in her dorm, not all of them, but the one's she disliked the most. One of the girls was reading aloud, the red haired one, when she stopped and gasped. **

"**Hey, Madison. There's a section on your boyfriend in here." She laughed; all the other's laughed with her until Madison held her by the neck and told her to get lost. All the other girls followed leaving Madison on her own in a corner of the library. **

**She began reading aloud to herself; "'William the bloody, given himself the name Spike because of forcing railroad spike's through his victims skulls. One of the many feared vampires around, he has forged two slayers in the last century and killed them both.'" **

**Madison gasped herself, she never knew this side of him. Unless you count the time they got into a fight, but she never thought he killed two slayers. She was shocked. **

**Walking out of the library Madison was alone, again. She felt a little worried that the only friend she had made here was Spike, a vampire with a soul who had killed two slayers in his evil days. She laughed to herself at his previous name '_William the Bloody_' _it sounds medieval and sexy. Oh god! Did I just think that? Gross._ Madison thought then walked off further down the hall. **

"**Hey! Madison." Someone yelled running after her.**

**Madison turned around to see one of the girls from her dorm.**

"**Hi." Madison said, shocked to see that someone was talking to her.**

"**I'm sorry, for laughing at you and everything." The girl was a petite brunette. She had big hazel eyes and a big smile across her face. She wasn't really pretty; she had acne, not the bad kind but still acne. **

"**It's okay, I don't hold grudges." Madison replied with a smile.**

"**Good. But still, sorry. It was Melody. She has a crush on Spike and hates you." The girl blurted out.**

"**Oh."**

"**Yeah, I'm Alison by the way." The girl held out a hand, Madison took it. She may as well have one friend other than Spike. Hadn't she? **

**Both girls walked together down to the canteen. They had become good friends within the space of ten minutes. **

**Alison used to live with her mom and older brother, Scott. Apparently she had to leave them all behind to become a slayer. **

**Seemed a little unfair to Madison. **

**Alison never knew her dad, he had abused her mom and brother when she was just two, she had no memories of her dad. All she had were pictures, most with the face ripped out. **

**Alison had first found out she was a slayer five months ago, she had remembered coming into Wolfram and Hart, meeting the gang for the first time. She was scared and felt left out, she hated the fact she was new. But she quickly made friends and didn't feel like the 'new kid.' She learned to live in her surroundings and get along with the people she had to, to stay on top. To be the best. She was a strong and gifted young slayer, one promised to make a great champion some day. **

**Madison walking into Spike's apartment, she threw down her stuff, sat in a chair and turned on the TV. **

**Spike was sat at the table reading some paper.**

**He looked at her with an annoyed expression, one which grew more annoyed when she took his beer.**

"**Do you mind?" he asked in his British accent all the women found sexy.**

"**Mind what?" Madison asked taking a sip from the can.**

"**Well." Spike began, standing up behind the slayer. "Firstly you come in here without knocking, slump down on my couch, turn on the TV and, oh, I'm pretty sure that's my beer." Spike took the beer can off her.**

"**Oi" Madison said jumping out of her seat. "Okay, you even said yourself I practically live here, and, if that was your beer why leave it where I can get it?"**

"**Oh so you want me to hide all my stuff now?" Spike fired back.**

"**I never said that. God what's wrong with you, got bad PMS or something?" **

"**Yeah? Maybe I have." Spike stormed into his bedroom.**

"**Hey! I haven't finished with you yet." Madison followed. Spike was stood beside the king size bed taking his shirt off.**

"**Okay, there was no need to storm off like…. Whoa." Madison said marching into the bedroom, she stopped staring at Spike's fine abs. **

"**Can I help you with anything?" Spike asked trying to get Madison's attention.**

"**Erm… nice b…. bed." Madison stuttered. **

"**Yeah, it's a really nice, bed. You feeling okay pet?"**

"**Am I ever." Madison paused. "I mean yeah, fine. Got to go. Bye." **

**Madison leaped out of the bedroom slamming the door and almost taking it with her. **

**Spike walked into his office, he hated Fridays, although he had nothing to do on the weekend, Friday's seemed to drag. It was like you could spend hours doing something, but really it would only be minutes.**

**Taking a seat at his desk, the other's came in. they didn't look very pleased.**

"**Spike, we need a staff meeting." Xander said bluntly and leaned on the back of a chair.**

"**Okay, what about?" spike was puzzled.**

"**You." Giles was the next to say taking his glasses and wiping them on a handkerchief. "You and that slayer, Madison."**

"**What about me and Madi." **

"**Oh so you and the lil' slayer onto pet names now?" Faith teased. **

**Spike slammed his fists down on the desk.**

"**Spike, the rules clearly state, that you can't have another slayer living with you. Unless you are dating." Giles said placing his glasses firmly back on his face.**

"**Listen, I'm the boss around here. And what I say goes. Screw the rules, me and Madison are friends and that's it. Now do you understand?" everyone nodded and left. Everyone except Dawn.**

**Spike sat on his desk, when he looked up Dawn was standing there.**

"**What do you want bit?" **

"**Spike, I know you loved and lost Buffy, we all did. And it's okay to fall in love again. Madison likes you and you like her. Falling in love after what happened won't make you a bad person." **

"**Yeah? I'm not a person though am I? I'm a thing. A monster."**

"**No your not. Your good, you proved that. And I know you're mad because you couldn't save Buffy. Hell I am too. But you need to move on, find a new love. Buffy would want you to."**

**Dawn left Spike's office, leaving him all alone. **

**_She would want me to._ Those were the words Spike was repeating in his head. Were they true? Would Buffy want him to move on?**

**Spike didn't have a clue, he needed time to think.**

**Down in a damp sewer, an evil genius was out to work. She had an evil plan, she wanted revenge. Already she had sent teams of vampires to **

**Go after the slayers, most had being killed by the girls, or the people form Wolfram and Hart.**

**However, she learnt that one of her vampires killed the boss, Angel.**

**She knew him better as Angelus. They thought on the same side back then, he was evil. And pretty good at it too, everywhere they went people were scared at the name Angelus. He made a name for himself, thus making a name for her and the other two. **

**He was a great vampire back then, until he had a curse put on him. A curse to give him a soul, ever since then he had been fighting on the side of good. It didn't get him that far though, because now, he was dust. Nothing more than a pile of ashes, probably made there way in the gutters by now. She laughed at the idea, Angel, dead. Those two words rung in her ears, made a song to her. They rhymed in that crazy little head of hers. **

**She laughed to herself one more time. The plan she had thought of, amused her. "The slayers won't know what hit them." She said laughing uncontrollably. Her evil laugh cackled its way out the sewers and hit the streets of L.A. **


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Madison awoke staring up at the ceiling, the last she remembered was drinking Spike under the table. Now she had a terrible headache and couldn't remember where she was. **

**She was in a bed, a big bed. It had expensive silk bedding and fluffy pillows. Very comfy. **

**Rubbing her eyes, Madison started to climb out of the bed. She then realized she wasn't alone. **

**Asleep at the side of her, Spike turned, his eyes catching the sunlight. **

**He woke up. Madison was at the side of him, she looked spooked. **

"**Morning." Spike said sitting up. He had no shirt on, only pants.**

"**Did, we…?"**

"**Do anything?" spike finished off the sentence.**

"**Yeah, we didn't, did we?"**

"**Yeah." Madison looked shocked, as if she was about to cry. "We got drunk. That's it. I promise." Spike laughed slightly.**

"**Thank god." Madison relaxed a little now, she laid back on the bed and pulled the covers over her head.**

"**Oi! Get off my bed." Spike playfully said, the pair was soon both play fighting. Madison straddled Spike and pinned his arms up to the bed post. Spike soon flipped her over, their lips almost touching. Spike stroked the hair away from her face. He leaned in for a kiss whilst gently stroking her soft glowing features. **

**The door to Spike's room flung open. Faith stood there looking at the pair. They both jumped up and Spike tried to get a shirt on. **

"**Hey, Spike. Your wanted." Spike gave her an odd look. "Apparently you have a meeting today." Faith said trying to jog his memory.**

"**Oh, shit." Spike cursed. **

"**Yeah, their waiting in your office." Faith walked out leaving Spike to finish getting dressed.**

"**Madi, I have to go." Madison nodded. Spike flung on his dock martins and jacket and went. **

"**I almost kissed Spike." Madison said to herself.**

**Dawn opened her bedroom door, Madison was stood there.**

"**You rang?" Madison said in her thick Mexican accent.**

"**Come in." **

"**Wassup?" Madison asked closing the door behind her.**

"**I don't think Andrew loves me." Dawn blurted out.**

"**Okay, Dawn. Sit down." Both girls sat on the chairs in Dawn's apartment. It was big, like all the other rooms in Wolfram and Hart, the living area was painted a light blue. The curtains were a lush cream and supported by a dark mahogany pole. The room had a tall ceiling with dark brown furniture. **

"**Dawn, Andrew is nuts over you."**

"**Yeah but, he never shows it. I mean… you know." Dawn said whispering towards the end. **

"**You mean sex?" Madison laughed.**

"**It's not funny. We've never done it." **

"**It's okay, just talk to the guy. He maybe nervous about it." Madison put a reassuring hand on Dawn's shoulder. **

"**You think?" **

"**Yes, anyway, I think I could top yours."**

"**What makes you say that?" Dawn asked fixing the two of them a drink from her mini bar. **

"**I almost kissed Spike." **

**Dawn dropped everything she was doing and turned around. "What? When? How come I didn't know?"**

"**Relax, you're the first to know. Well expect Faith, she walked in." Dawn's mouth dropped further to the floor.**

"**What?"**

**Madison explained to Dawn how Faith walked in before the kiss happened. She also added in that she Spike ran out in a hurry. She thought that maybe she scared him off.**

**Spike sat in his office. He was thinking about that would've been kiss. Part of him wanted it but another part didn't, he was still getting over Buffy. How could he kiss someone else? It wasn't right or fair. **

**Spike held his head in his hands again, it seemed to be the only thing he was good at these days. He had lost the grant to expand on the gym and gym equipment for the slayers that was what the meeting was about. All he had been able to think about was Madison. **

**A knock at Spike's door disturbed his thoughts. **

"**Come in.2 he said, he really thought_ leave me alone._ **

**Madison entered, he looked up, stunned and gazed. **

"**Hey." She said, her olive complexion brightening as she stood in the door way. She looked like an angel with a brilliant bright light behind her.**

"**Hey." Was all he could manage to say.**

"**How'd the meeting go?" she asked, sitting down in front of him on the corner of his desk. **

"**Crap. I didn't get the grant." **

"**It's okay; we'll find a way to get the money. And if not, we'll manage with what we have." She was always so calm.**

"**How is it that you are always in the right place at the right time?"**

"**I'm just lucky, or unlucky, depending on which way you look at it."**

**She said smiling, suddenly; Spike grabbed her and kissed her deeply. He pulled her onto his knee, the pairs lips locked instantly for jus a moment.**

"**I love you." He whispered.**

**A knock at his door forced Spike back to living again. He hoped it wasn't Madison, especially after the dream he had just had, he didn't want to experience de ja vu.**

**After several more knocks, Faith grew impatient and entered Spike's office.**

"**I was knocking." She was pissed.**

"**Yeah I heard."**

**Spike wasn't in the mood.**

"**What was that I saw with you and Madison earlier?"**

"**I knew that was coming."**

"**Then you weren't disappointed were you?" **

"**Yeah, well, bugger off. I don't feel like talking." Spike turned away.**

"**Spike, you have to talk. You love her don't you?" Faith teased.**

"**Sit down." **

**Whilst talking to Dawn. Madison had decided to take drastic measures with Spike.**

**Of all the people, Spike opened up to Faith, told her everything. Told her how much he loved Madison, the dreams, everything. **

**After talking to Faith, spike had a clear head, he knew just what to do. **

**Spike walked into his apartment. Madison was already there, she was taking a shower.**

**He laughed to himself at the sound of her humming. Whatever she was singing wasn't English, it sounded Spanish to Spike.**

"**Madi?" spike called out. **

"**I'll be a minute." An echolike voice called out from the bathroom. **

"**Spike will you bring me a towel?" Madison called out.**

**Hearing Spike open the door she turned off the water and threw back the shower curtain.**

**Spike's face dropped. He handed her the towel half wanting to pull her towards him and, well you know. He couldn't believe it, Madison, the girl he thought he loves, was standing in his bathroom. Naked. **

**She had an incredible body, Spike thought. He was disappointed when she wrapped herself in the towel. **

"**Thanks, was getting rather cold."**

**She got out of the shower and stood in front of Spike. Her crystal blue eyes spoke to him, they were so clear and light. Like looking into an ocean. Before Spike knew it, he was kissing her. Their bodies grew closer together.**

"**I love you so much Buffy." Spike whispered.**

**Madison pulled away, she was hurt.**

"**Buffy?" she half screamed, tears filled her eyes.**

"**Madi, I'm so sorry. I didn't." spike pleaded moving towards the slayer.**

"**Get out!" she screamed repeatedly before throwing him out. She fell to the bathroom floor crying. **

**Spike banged at the door, begging for her to come out. **


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Madison and Alison stood talking in their gym class with Faith. The slayers had been told to practice punches in partners. Madison was first. She had a lot of built up stress and anger. **

**It made it worse for Alison when Faith told the girls to think of someone they hated. She thought of Spike. She didn't hate him, but she was well on her way to.**

**Someone walked in and gave a note to Faith. She stopped Madison and told her to follow the women. Madison did. She was confused though, who would want to talk to her so much? Spike; She knew it was him as soon as she arrived at his office. She walked in behind the women. The woman, who was obviously Spike's secretary, announced her arrival and left the two of them.**

"**What do you want?" Madison demanded.**

"**To talk." Spike stood up and sat on the corner of his desk.**

"**Yeah, well I don't wana." **

"**Madi, I'm so sorry." Spike said moving towards the slayer. She backed away.**

"**I'm moving back into my dorm." **

"**Okay, I just don't want us to fall out. I care about you."**

"**Obviously not enough to remember my name." Madison fired back.**

"**I didn't mean to, I swear. I just…"**

"**I get it, you loved Buffy so much. And you lost her, you're not over her are you?"**

**Spike knew she was right and shook his head.**

"**I wish I was. I care about you. And, I don't know if it's love, but I just wana stay friends with you."**

**Madison agreed, it was reasonable enough. Friends, another god damn friend. She hated it.**

**She went to leave when Spike stopped her. **

"**Madison, you don't have to move out you know. We can still be house mates."**

**Madison again agreed. She stared at him in the eyes for a long time. It soon became intimate and she went. **

**Dawn sat on the end of her bed. She was wearing a silky nightdress that came above her knees. _Hopefully this will get Andrew's attention._ Dawn thought to herself. It was Madison's idea, she said it would work. Dawn trusted her; she had become a best friend in the past few weeks. She was smart, funny and was a good listener. She always gave the right advice at the right time and was always a shoulder to cry on. **

**Dawn heard the door knob turn and got into place at the centre of the bed, she hoped this would go according to plan. **

"**Hey." Andrew said in his squeaky voice, he didn't look at Dawn, but when he did, he got the shock of his life.**

"**Hey, how was work?" Dawn asked trying to make light conversation 'til the fact that she was half naked sunk into Andrew's brain.**

"**Erm… fine." Andrew sat at the end of the bed, allowing Dawn to rub his shoulders.**

"**Make love to me Andrew." Dawn demanded.**

**He did, neither of them were very good. They had never been with anybody else. **

**After making love to each other they fell asleep in each others arms and didn't awake until night.**

**A thick fog set over LA. The vampires walked the streets hunting in groups. They were savage beasts, killed everyone that got in their way. Tonight, however, they had a mission. **

**The slayers walked through the fog in the cemeteries. They had stayed in a group instead of splitting up. Most of the girls weren't ready; Faith had left them on their own. She provided weapons, but apart from that, they were completely alone. All they had were one another. **

**Madison stood at the back with Alison, they were both ready. Nothing scared them much, Madison was one of the strongest girls in the group, she didn't like to admit it but everyone knew it.**

**Everything was quiet, too quiet. **

"**I don't like this." One of the girls whispered, Madison shielded her mouth.**

"**Shhh. I hear something." **

**The noise soon stopped, the girls carried on walking, and a vampire jumped out of the trees and scared the girls. Most screamed, Madison stood there and pulled out her stake.**

**The vampire in front punched her. "Now that wasn't nice, if I was you I'd stop it before I introduce you to Mr. pointy."**

**The vampire punched her again. Madison kicked the vampire and straddled him.**

"**Too late." She said and plunged the stake into his heart. **

**The vampire was soon dust and Madison got up to fight some more.**

_**A/N sorry it's a bit short. Chap 9 is on its way!!**_


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**All the girls left sat in the gym. They were all shook up form the loss of slayers that night. It wasn't an ordinary patrol, it was a massacre. They had lost five girls that night and the rest were shaken up. All except Madison, she had been the hero of the hour. She had killed most of the vamps, however some had gotten away. **

**Faith entered the gym; she had a hard look on her face. It was obvious she blamed herself. She was followed by Spike.**

"**Girls." Spike said. "I know you lost some girls tonight, but don't give up. You are all strong and if you give up at the first hurdle, you will never know how strong each and everyone of you are." He paused and looked at Madison, she smiled at him and he gave a tired smile back.**

"**I want you to get some sleep tonight, and in the morning you can all have the day off. Now go and get some rest." Spike pattered Faith on the back and walked out. **

"**Now you heard him girls, go."**

**Spike sat in his chair; he had had a rough night when he found out what happened. Madison walked into his office.**

"**Hey." She said and Spike held his head up.**

"**Hey pet." He greeted back.**

"**You okay?" she asked already knowing the answer.**

"**Not really, because of me, five girls are dead. Now I have to be the one to tell their families." He rubbed his eyes trying to focus.**

"**Do it in the morning. You should get some sleep." Madison began rubbing Spike's shoulders. He liked it. She was so gentle yet tough at the same time. It was something words couldn't describe. Magical.**

"**Your right, I need some sleep." Spike said, he stood up and held his hand out for Madison. **

"**Are you coming pet?"**

**She stood up and took his hand. He led her to his apartment.**

**Part of him was hoping he could kiss her again, another part told him it wasn't right. **

**Once in the apartment, Spike turned on the TV in his bedroom and him and Madison watched it together until they fell asleep in each others arms. **

**Madison awoke to the smell of bacon. She looked beside her and saw Spike holding a tray of food.**

"**Breakfast in bed malady?" Madison laughed.**

"**You did this for me?"**

"**Oh, only for you." Spike climbed back beside Madison in the king-sized bed.**

"**Has it got brown sauce?" **

"**Yeah. The way you like it." Madison laughed and tucked into the food. Spike watched her, she was beautiful. **

"**We failed." One of the vampires said bowing down to her.**

"**Relax, get up." She ordered. "You haven't failed me. I now know the slayer's movements, how she fights. She will soon die."**

"**So, tell me everything." Madison was saying to Dawn. Dawn did. The pair sat for ages sharing gossip and details on their love lives. Madison didn't have one though. That much bummed her.**

"**Shame you couldn't stay longer." Dawn said as she hugged Madison at the door.**

"**Yeah, well Spike promised me a Chinese and I'm holding him to it."**

"**I don't understand why you two don't just go out." Dawn said forcing the smile form Madison's face.**

"**Because, we're friends." Madison defended herself.**

"**Madi, I'm not trying to get all critical on you, but you love him. You've told me that. And, from what I've seen he loves you. Just go for it."**

**Madison left, she was half in a rage but never let Dawn see that. Madison wondered whether Dawn was right. No, she couldn't be, they were friends, anything but a couple. Was they?**

**Madison needed to think about it.**

"**Hey, pet." Spike said as Madison walked into the apartment.**

**She dropped the keys on the side and sat next to him on one of the couches.**

"**Thanks." She said once he handed her a glass of wine.**

"**You hungry?" Spike asked standing up and walking in the kitchen. **

"**Yeah." Madison went to join him. "You make those calls today?" she asked making light conversation.**

"**Yeah, expect screaming mothers in tomorrow." Spike tried to laugh the subject off.**

"**Spike. I can't do this." Madison blurted out.**

"**What don't you like Chinese? Cause if not I could order something…." **

"**It's not the Chinese, it's us." Madison cut in leaving Spike really confused.**

"**Spike, we're too close. We're not a couple, we're just friends."**

"**Okay, you've lost me."**

"**Spike, your treating me like I'm your girlfriend. You stay in on nights with me, you cook for me, and you even wash my clothes and underwear. That's the stuff a guy does for his girlfriend. And I'm not."**

**Madison was just about to leave when Spike said something that totally shocked her and came out of no where. She stopped frozen. **


	11. Chapter 10

**Madison's face dropped to the floor. "You don't mean that." She half demanded turning back to face the vampire.**

"**Yes I do." He walked towards her and she gave him the cold shoulder.**

"**No. you can't just say that, you said yourself you don't know if you love me or not." She panicked; she had never had a guy say those words before.**

"**Madison, when I wake up in the morning you're my first thought, and my last at night. You're the reason I stay sane and the reason my life has meaning. You're the only one I want to be with and I don't care if anyone knows, in fact I want them to know. I want them to know I love you so much and I've fallen for you. I've been dying to say this for ages, from the beginning, gosh you're the only person that could annoy me so much and get away with it." **

**He laughed forcing her to giggle slightly. **

"**Madison, there's so much that I wanted to tell you, and if I didn't, soon, it would have torn me apart. Ripped my chest open and hurt. I'm sorry to cause confusion on you, bloody hell pet, I would die for you, and cry and any other bloody thing you wana say. I'd do it all. I'd do anything, anything and everything."**

"**Wow." Was all Madison could manage to say. She had happy tears in her eyes.**

"**I…. I have to go."**

"**Madison, please. Just…."**

"**Just what? Think about it? Spike, I can't I'm 19; I have my whole life ahead of me. Marriage isn't something I wana rush into. I'm sorry."**

**She dashed out of the room without looking back. Spike was heartbroken, he didn't know what made him ask her to marry him, but he had to say something. And a proposal was the only thing that came out.**

**Madison walked down the hall where she passed Alison.**

"**Hey, Madi are you okay?" **

**Madison shook her head and gave Alison a hug. **

"**What's up?" Alison kept asking. Madison couldn't reply due to all the sobbing.**

**When Madison did tell her Alison was shocked.**

"**He what?" she kept saying.**

"**I have no idea what to do." Madison was saying.**

**Both of the girls went into the canteen, it was off limits this late at night, but they needed somewhere quiet to talk.**

"**I think you should talk to Spike not me." Alison said.**

**Suddenly, a mass of arrows came flying through the window out of nowhere and attacked the girls, Madison ducked.**

**She stayed on the floor for what felt like a lifetime.**

**When she surfaced Alison was still sat in her seat.**

**She was holding something in her chest.**

**It was an arrow. Madison laid the girl down and kept a firm grip on the arrow. Without notice to Alison she pulled it out, Alison winced with the pain.**

"**It's going to be okay." Madison was saying.**

**Alison began coughing, blood stained the edges of her mouth.**

"**Find out who did this." Alison said, and then she was gone.**

"**I will. I promise." Madison cried. **

"**You shouldn't have been there." Faith shouted at Madison.**

**Madison stood there and took it all. Whatever Faith said she wasn't in the mood to fight back.**

**Just as Faith got ready for round two, the door opened.**

**Spike walked in.**

**_Great, just what I need. _Madison thought. **

"**Faith, please leave." Spike ordered. Faith looked like she was going to blow but Spike held out his hand and motioned her to leave.**

**She did.**

"**You okay?" Spike asked, he knew the answer would be a no. **

"**Oh yeah, my best friend has just died. I'm all peachy." Madison screamed and broke down in Spike's arms. **

"**It's okay." He said kissing the top of her head and stroking her hair.**

"**No it's not." She said between sobs.**

"**We'll find out who did this. I promise." **

**A/N sorry this is yet again a short chapter but I have like two stories on the go and I need to update them for you. Hope you like so far and please leave reviews!**

**Gina xxxx**


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Madison passed Spike's office to hear screaming come from within its four walls.**

**She peered her head around the corner, inside were a mass of screaming women, probably mothers of the dead slayers.**

**Spike looked like he needed saving, and fast. **

"**Excuse me ladies." She said making her way to stand boldly in front of spike's desk. She prayed she knew what she was doing.**

"**I am sorry for your losses, really I am. But this guy here is not to blame." She pointed to Spike. "Your daughters were killed saving this country, saving their country, just like they would have if they joined the army or marines, or the CIA and so on. Now, I know you've all lost and need time to grieve, but I hope you will feel better knowing that, that all your daughters were wonderful girls. And, they saved mine and other people's lives. You would have been so proud of them, of all of them." **

"**How the hell did you do that?" Spike asked, he was amazed that Madison had managed to talk the women into leaving.**

"**What can I say? I', good." They both laughed.**

"**Too good." Spike muttered under his breath, Madison had heard but didn't say anything. She cradled her cup of tea and drank from it whenever it was necessary to avoid eye contact with Spike. He had noticed and was doing the same with his gloomy dark red liquid he called blood. It looked nothing like the stuff; it was all dark and lumpy. It had the worst smell ever. Madison could never understand why vampires enjoyed the stuff, they craved for it, killed for it.**

"**So…" Madison said ending the silence which seemed to surround Spike's office. **

"**So..." he repeated. They both laughed slightly.**

"**Has anyone found out anything on the attacks yet?"**

"**No. I'm sorry." Spike answered taking another sip from his mug. **

**They both sat in silence again for a long time, until Madison stood up.**

"**Hey, I should go." Spike just nodded and watched her leave.**

**Madison knocked on Dawn's door, no answer. She knocked again, this time louder and a topless Andrew answered the door.**

"**Hey." Madison said.**

"**Erm... Dawn's busy at the moment." Andrew said giving Madison a look that said, _you know what I mean_. Madison did, she laughed to herself and walked away as Andrew shut the door again. **

**It seemed like them two had been at it like rabbits the last couple of days. Madison was sort of jealous. She wished she had someone to stay in bed all day with and to watch her falling asleep in his arms, it would be nice. **

**Spike came back into Madison's mind, maybe he was the one? She would ask herself. But, thinking about it confused her more. And his proposal of marriage, it was insane. She couldn't. But she could still have a relationship with the guy, couldn't she? Madison decided to talk to Spike. But it seemed that whenever she did, something got in the way and it was put on hold. Not this time. **

**Madison marched around the corner to Spike's office, they were going to talk. She stopped as soon as she heard voices from inside.**

**It was Xander and Giles, they were talking to Spike. **

"**Come on Spike. Your like what… 200?" Xander said.**

"**No you git, I'm going to be 126." Spike said in a hushed tone.**

"**It's still a reason to celebrate." Giles butted in.**

**Madison held her ear to the door.**

"**No, it is not. I don't want my age broadcasting. I feel old."**

**Xander and Giles laughed, Spike gave them a cold look.**

"**Well you are old." Xander said adjusting his eye patch.**

"**It's not funny, and I'm not that bloody old." **

"**Spike," Giles cut Xander off before them two got into an argument. "With all the bad things happening around here, myself and Xander think that a party would get the girls minds off the bad things." **

**Xander nodded in agreement.**

"**The girls need something to look forward to Spike; they need to be focused when we fight this thing. Whatever it is." Xander said. **

"**The answers still no. why don't you let the girls out or something. But they are not celebrating my birthday." **

**Spike got out of his chair and marched out of his office.**

**Madison had to duck around the corner so Spike didn't catch her. **

**Xander and Giles stood speechless in Spike's office. Madison walked in, they both greeted her with confused expressions.**

"**It's okay." She began. "I heard everything. I have an idea."**

**Spike awoke to the shower running in his apartment. At first he thought it may have been people breaking in, but then he realized it was just Madison. **

**We got up and rubbed his eyes. Getting dressed he looked in the mirror, he had no reflection there but he knew he was starting to look old. He needed something to make him feel young again. Maybe if he went out and got laid, everyone knew he hadn't had that in a while. Nah, he didn't feel like it. **

**Spike buttoned up his shirt and didn't even see Madison come in and stand behind him. He didn't need to, he could sense her.**

**She smelt so good. She looked it too when he turned around to look at her. He gave a weak smile.**

"**Morning." She said. Her hair was curly and had some bits pinned back on the top of her head, it was sort of half up half down.**

**She was wearing blue jeans with pink converses and a pink vest top which said, 'blondes do it better.'**

**Spike had to laugh at the top. It held her curvy figure quite nicely.**

"**What's wrong with you?" she asked.**

"**What's right with me?" spike shot back, he couldn't help being sarcastic, even when he didn't mean to. It just came naturally.**

**She gave a soft laugh. **

"**You got any classes today?" spike asked changing the subject.**

"**Yeah, just Faith's in an hour." Spike nodded, he didn't know what he was nodding at, he just did anyway.**

"**You should get going." Spike said, it pained him to see her leave, but he couldn't keep an eye on her all day. At night Spike sat and watched her sleeping, he did this every night; it was the only way he could get some sleep. To watch her. It sounded pretty creepy, but Spike loved her, he just wanted to hold her. **

**Madison said goodbye and left, a hole appeared in Spike's heart again, it was the one he got when she wasn't there. The one only she could fill.**

**After Faith's class, everyone went into the library. All the slayers, Willow, Faith, Xander, Gunn, Dawn and Andrew and Giles of course.**

**Madison had had a idea about a surprise party for Spike. Everyone was in on it. Even Spike's secretary and the other workers. Their job was to distract him and keep him in his office until six o clock. It shouldn't be too hard, all they had to do was go in Spike's office, a few at a time and make ridicules complaints. Spike wasn't going to find it funny at all.**

"**Okay, why don't you tell me the problem one more time." Spike said trying to be as calm as possible. He was getting even more pissed by the minute. **


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**It was seven o clock and Spike sat at his desk drinking another pint of blood mixed with Jack Daniel's. He liked the way the two liquids mixed and complimented each other. **

**The complaints had not stopped all day and he was pissed off by now, he was ready to explode. All he thought about was why Madison kept avoiding him after his unexpected proposal. He kept thinking of what he could have done wrong and why she hadn't given him a answer yet, he thought she loved him, he was obviously mistaken. **

**As Willow kept complaining he suddenly leapt from his desk and burst out of his door, he was going to get to the bottom of his situation with Madison, even if it killed him. **

**Andrew peeped through the crack in the old oak door.**

"**Quick he's coming." He whispered in a sharp manly tone. Which was unusual for Andrew, Dawn had changed him so much, not even he could recognize himself. **

**Everyone jumped in their places and some gave an unusual look to Andrew.**

"**What?" he whined in his usual tone.**

**Spike threw open the door to the hall, he was sure Madison would be in here. As soon as he did, everyone jumped out and shouted surprise, bug banners came down revealing the birthday occasion. He wasn't really in the mood for surprised, but when he saw Madison's face light up, he smiled.**

**Spike and Madison had been avoiding each other all night, it was pissing both of them off dearly, but none had the courage to make the first move. Spike was the first to break this; he couldn't stand not being with her any longer. He went up to Madison and began to speak his mind.**

"**Can we talk?" he shouted over the sound of the music.**

"**What?" she replied back. She couldn't hear him no matter how hard she tried. **

"**We need to talk." He said a little louder this time.**

"**I can't hear you." She shouted again.**

"**I love you." He shouted, just before he did the music stopped. Everyone looked around at the two and Spike stormed out. All that was left was a door slamming shut, a young girl left in almost tears and a room full of party goers left in complete silence. Then, Andrew dropped his keys causing everyone to carry on with the party. The music came back to life, as Madison wiped her tears, she ran for the door. **

**Spike sat on the floor outside the hall. He had his head in his hands and his elbows resting on his knees. Madison sat next to him.**

"**You okay?" she asked already knowing the answer. **

**He looked at her half heartedly. **

"**Stupid question I know." She said as he dropped his head back in his arms.**

"**I do love you, you know." **

**Spike looked up, "Yeah? Well why don't you wana be with me?" he said, hurt.**

"**I do, god Spike. You don't know how much I do."**

"**Well why can't we be together then? Madison, I love you so much." He said taking her hands in his.**

"**Marry me." He pleaded.**

"**I can't. I'm not ready for marriage." **

**Spike looked hurt and dropped her hands.**

"**We can still be together." He said firmly.**

"**Yeah, I know. That's what I want." He looked at her again in disbelief. "That is what I've been wanting to tell you. But I guess I've been too chicken to." A smirk appeared on Spike's face.**

"**What?" she demanded laughing at him.**

"**Wana ditch the party?" spike said raising an eyebrow.**

"**Hmm, are you seducing me Mr. Spike?" she said playfully.**

"**Always." He replied before taking her hand and pulling her up. They both ran to their apartment and left the party scene behind them. **


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Spike woke up smiling that morning. And he had no reason to not. He had Madison laid at the side of him wearing his black shirt. She looked so beautiful sleeping. He gently brushed her hair back and planted a kiss on her left cheek. He couldn't believe it, he had the love of his life, and this time he wasn't letting go. **

**Spike showered and dressed trying to be silent so he wouldn't wake her up. He didn't, she slept like a baby. He kissed her head and walked out ready for work. He whistled all the way down to his office and said hello to everyone on his way. They all knew why he was so happy, but they weren't in a very good mood to return the greeting. After Spike and Madison had left the party, most staff decided to take advantage of the boss not being there to remind them they still had work in the morning. It was a bad idea; staff had already gone through most of the coffee in the staff lounge. **

**In his office Spike sat at his desk and smiled to himself. He had had the best night of his life with the women of his dreams. It had been a long time since he had been with anybody and Spike intended on making the most of it. A knock at Spike's door made him jump.**

"**Come in." he said and picked up a pen to make it look like he was working.**

"**Hey." Willow said walking in. it was obvious to Spike she had been in her office, she had taken over the science lab and it was now science and magic's. It had all new technology init, computers, scientific equipment and all the magic books Willow needed and even some she didn't. **

"**What can I do for you?" Spike said trying to keep the grin off his pale face.**

"**What's wrong with you?" Willow gave him the '_I know what you did last night' look. _**

"**Nothing." Spike answered.**

"**Come on. You can tell me, it's you and Madison right?"**

"**Yeah." Spike smirked.**

"**Oh wow, that's so great. I'm so happy for you." **

"**Yeah just don't tell anyone." Spike begged.**

"**Okay, I won't."**

"**So what you here for anyway?" spike asked placing the lid back on the pen he had been playing with.**

"**I looked at that knife that was found in the canteen when Alison was killed." Willow paused pulling the knife out of a plastic bag.**

"**The knife is a Irish weapon, it's about two hundred years old." **

"**Can I have a look at that?" Spike asked holding out his hand, Willow placed the knife in his outstretched hand.**

**Spike examined it for a long time. A shiver went crawling down his spine.**

"**Dru." He said and Willow knew who he was talking about. Drusilla, Spike's first love and a crazy vampire. **

"**Drusilla?" Willow questioned and Spike nodded.**

"**It was her fathers. I'm gona kill her." Spike said aggressively scaring Willow who moved back in her seat a little.**

"**Hey lover." Madison said walking into Spike's office. She didn't realize he had company but when she did she stood still.**

"**Oh, Willow hey. Erm… i didn't know Spike had company. I'll go." Madison stuttered.**

"**It's okay," Willow looked at Madison. "I know about you and Spike."**

"**Oh good. Cause if you didn't I would have had a hard time explaining that one." Madison walked up to Spike who was still holding the knife in shock and anger. She sat on the edge of his desk.**

"**You okay?" she asked.**

"**Yeah." Spike swallowed hard. He handed the knife back to Willow who got up out of her seat.**

"**That's the knife that killed Alison isn't it?" Madison asked.**

**Willow nodded. Madison's head turned back to Spike.**

"**You know who it is yet?"**

**Spike nodded before speaking and looking at her.**

"**She's a vampire called Drusilla." He said sharply.**

"**Oh, so when we gona kill her?" Madison jumped up.**

"**We're not. I am."**

"**What? No, I wana kill her too, she killed my best friend."**

"**I know pet, and you don't know what she's like. She'll keep killing until she gets what she wants." Spike paused. "Me."**

**Madison looked confused.**

"**She was the love of my life once. She sired me. Made me a killer" Spike said filling in the blanks for his girlfriend.**

"**Please, I wana help." Madison begged. **

"**No, I want you to stay away. I'm going to find her tonight." **

"**Spike you can't go alone." Willow said adding to the conversation.**

"**I have to." He was stubborn.**

"**At least let us come with you, the scoobies. It will be like it used to." **

**Willow had hope in her eyes that Spike wouldn't be stupid enough to go it alone. **

**He agreed to let them come, but he had other things in mind.**

**The scoobies, joined by Madison stood alone in one of the cemeteries of LA. Spike had said he was going to meet the there, this was an hour ago. Madison was scared and hoping he was okay, she didn't want to lose him and was going to kick his ass for ditching them. She knew she should have gone with him, but he insisted on meeting.**

"**I could do a locating spell." Willow said hearing Madison's thoughts. **

"**You sure?" Madison asked, everyone was listening.**

"**Yeah, it's easy. We'll find him, I promise." Willow pattered Madison's arm and sat on a stone wall. She concentrated, sat with her eyes closed for what felt like hours to Madison. Then her eyes opened with a shock of fear blood shot in them. Willow fell off the wall and into Kennedy's arms.**

"**You okay?" Kennedy asked her lover.**

"**I saw him." Willow said standing up. "Drusilla, she was torturing him."**

**Madison's eyes filled with tears.**

"**Let's find him." she said holding back the tears.**

"**Come on Spikey, I wana play." Drusilla said waving her hands around the room. Spike was chained to a wall in a factory somewhere. It was old and abandoned and Spike now regretted not having backup. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot and his shirt all ripped and blood coated. **

"**Bugger off." He said spitting blood at her.**

**She laughed. "You still reek of goodness Spikey. But, nothing to worry about. We'll soon change that."**

"**Not if I can help it." A Mexican voice said from the other side of the room.**

**Drusilla turned to look at the newcomer. She was obviously a slayer, and she had backup. The scoobies, Drusilla remembered them from Sunnydale. The slayer's friends.**

"**Well, look who we have here, a kid that thinks she's a hero."**

**Drusilla laughed once more making Madison a little nervous.**

"**Let him go." She said trying to hide the fear.**

"**Why? What's it to you? All I'm doing here is having a lil chat with Spikey. Now is that against the law? After all I did make him." Dru was pacing around the room keeping an eye on the scoobies so they didn't try anything. **

"**Let him go. Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. It's totally your choice." Madison's words grew more confident as she spoke them.**

"**What happens if I choose the hard way?" Dru teased.**

"**Well, choose the hard way and you'll find out." **

**Madison waved a stake in front of Dru's face. **

**Under her breath Willow muttered something only she could hear.**

**The scoobies looked on as Madison and Dru exchanged sarcastic comments. It was something Buffy used to do.**

"**You know, you're so much like that other slayer, what's her name? Buffy." Dru spat at the name. **

"**Tell me, you in love with my Spikey over here?" **

"**He's not yours. He's mine." Madison fired back.**

"**Well looks like we're gona have to fight for him. What do you say slayer?"**

"**Try it, it will be fun." Madison smiled and dodged Dru's hand which came flying from nowhere.**

"**Nice try, but your so gona lose." Madison said, she took Dru's arm and twisted it round before kicking Drusilla and forcing her to the floor.**

**Dru screamed in agony. "So you're strong well done." Dru stretched out her leg and knocked Madison onto her back. She jumped on the slayer and turned into vamp mode. She lunged at Madison and tried to dig her teeth into Madison's neck. She got so close, Madison could fell her cold breathe on her neck. Everyone watched on at the scene in front of them, it was a tough fight. **

"**Get Spike out." Madison shrieked from under Drusilla. But the others were already trying to free Spike. They tugged at the ropes but they didn't move. Kennedy grabbed a knife and lunged at the ropes, they fell to the floor and so did Spike.**

"**Your going to wish you never started this slayer." Dru said still on top of Madison and trying to bite her neck. Madison knew she couldn't stop Drusilla on her own and was relieved when Spike staked Drusilla through the heart.**

"**You couldn't have done that sooner?" Madison asked standing up and getting air into her lungs again. **

"**Sorry pet was a lil tied up." Spike said before pulling Madison towards him and planting a kiss on her lips. Everyone watched and smiled, they were glad to see Spike happy again. **

**Spike looked at the pile of ashes on the floor; he had just staked his sire. The first love of his life that actually loved him back. **

**Spike sat in his office looking out of the window. He had an amazing view from the office window. He could see all the stars in the sky and buildings which towered over his office. Never once in his life had Spike truly felt at home, but now he was. He had Madison, a good paid job and got to save the world on a daily basis, what more could anyone ask for?**

"**Penny for 'em." Spike heard a voice say, he didn't need to turn round to see who it was. **

"**Hey pet." He said as Madison stood next to him. She too looked out of the window and admired the view.**

"**Lovely isn't it?" she said.**

"**Yeah, it is." Spike put an arm around Madison and kissed the top of her head.**


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"**Push yourselves girls." Faith was saying to the slayers.**

**It was yet another one of Faith's lessons which involved pushing themselves to the limit. **

**Madison did, she thought people would call her teachers pet, because she tried so hard and because she was dating Spike. No one did. They were all really supportive. **

**At the end of the lesson all the girl were tired and out of breath. Madison, who usually wasn't, was. She had a tight pain in her chest. **

**It hurt so much; she held her chest tight and made her way to her apartment. **

**When she got there, Spike was already home.**

"**Hey pet." He said kissing the top of her head, Madison immediately stood up straight so Spike wouldn't notice anything was wrong. He didn't.**

"**Had fun?" he asked teasing.**

"**Yeah, it was okay. Why aren't you at work?" she asked sitting down, the pain had stopped.**

"**Oh I am, I decided that since I live near my office I could work from here and be with you." He smiled and kissed her lips firmly.**

"**Great, but I'm really beat. I was thinking of just going to bed."**

"**Hmm, I could join you." Spike said raising an eyebrow.**

"**It's okay, you don't have to. You should get back to work."**

"**If there's an emergency someone will ring. They always do."**

"**Oh, great." Madison said disappointed, she loves Spike and everything but she wanted to be alone. She couldn't tell him that though, he would worry and she didn't want him to.**

**Willow sat eating her lunch from behind a book. She had been reading this book for about an hour and had really got into it. It was something about advanced magic's. Willow's eyes focused hard on the text, she read everything on every page with such detail.**

"**Hey." Kennedy said bursting through the door.**

"**Hey." Willow said between bites of apple, she didn't even look up at her lover; she had been dragged into the book.**

"**Earth to Willow." Kennedy said waving a hand in front of her.**

**Willow put the book down.**

"**Hey, sorry. Was reading." **

"**Yeah I noticed. You said you were meeting me for dinner today."**

"**Oh, I'm sorry I forgot."**

"**Yeah, well it doesn't matter because I've brought you dinner." Kennedy held out a bag.**

"**I've already ate." Willow said holding out the apple in her hand.**

"**Oh." Was all Kennedy could say.**

"**I'm sorry baby." Willow said, she had now placed the book down on her table. **

"**It's okay. I'll just eat it here and we can talk."**

"**Sure." Willow said with a smile on her face.**

**As Kennedy sat down a red light flashed and a loud siren flooded into the science and magic's lab.**

"**What's that?" Kennedy asked looking at Willow's shocked face.**

"**Follow me."**

**Spike laid in his bed with Madison and stroked her hair with the back of his hand.**

"**I love you." He said smiling down at her.**

"**I love you too." **

**They both smiled. Suddenly the siren went off and Spike sprang into action. **

"**What's that?" Madison shouted over the noise.**

"**It's a bomb alarm." Spike mentioned calmly.**

"**Oh yeah a bomb alarm. What the hell is a bomb alarm going off for." Madison screamed as they made their way down the hall.**

"**A bomb is in the building." **

**On the corridor they were joined by Dawn and Andrew. **

"**What's going on?" Dawn asked still in her dressing gown.**

"**A bomb." Spike shouted taking the lead and rushing to the canteen.**

**When they got there everyone was there, the staff, the slayers and the scoobies. They were all on the floor and only one man was stood up. **

**He was a worker at Wolfram and Hart, Spike had seen him before. He has short black hair that had a receding hairline at the front and a bald spot on the back of his head. **

"**On the floor." He shouted when he saw Spike and the rest enter.**

**They did as he said. He was wearing something strapped to his waist; Spike knew it was a bomb. It had a red flashing light on it and wires coming from all directions. **

"**Calm down." Spike said to him.**

"**Calm down! How can I calm down when my wife's sleeping with this bastard?" He shouted and pointed to a scared man sitting at the front. The man at the front was wetting himself and crying. _What a wuss_ Spike thought. **

"**Look, killing everyone in here isn't going to help." Madison fired at him.**

"**I know." The man cried. "But he needs to pay."**

"**Then punch him a couple of times. Killing everyone in here is madness."**

"**I can't stop it now. What's done is done." The man said and the beeping on the bomb grew faster and faster. Then it stopped. **

**Everyone ran for the door, not all were lucky to make it. The bomb went off and people went flying everywhere.**

**Madison laid on the floor coughing. She had a weight on top of her and then she realized it was Spike. He must have jumped on top of her to save her from the blast.**

**Spike moved and rolled to the side. His face was black from the smoke and his hair all messed up. **

"**You saved me." Madison whispered.**

"**Yeah, can't let the love of my life getting blown up now can I?" they both laughed. **

**Madison tried to get up but couldn't, the pain in her chest had come back and was more painful than before. **

"**You okay?" Spike asked with obvious concern in his eyes.**

"**Yeah, I'll be fine." Madison said then collapsed.**

**Madison's eyes flickered open. She was in a room somewhere. It had beeping machines all over, and then she remembered the bomb. Was she living it all over again? **

"**Hey sleepy head." Spike stood at the door with a bunch of red roses in his hands. He walked over to Madison and placed them beside her.**

"**Where am I?" she asked.**

"**You're in the hospital pet. Had a nasty fall or something from the explosion. The doctors won't really tell me what's happening."**

"**Did anyone die?"**

"**Just the bomber guy and the guy who was sleeping with his missus, the rest are just battered and bruised really." Spike explained.**

**The doctor soon came into the room, Spike stood up to hear the verdict.**

"**Madison, I'm sorry. But I'm afraid I have some bad news."**


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"**So, what now?" Madison asked still coming over the shock.**

**Spike was speechless; he hadn't said anything after the doc told them the bad news. It was bad news, really bad. Spike was scared, he couldn't let this happen. The love of this life, cancer? **

"**Well, we would suggest treatment, but I'm afraid it's too late for that. The cancer has spread, it's too late to do anything about it now." Madison put on a brave face and held back the tears. It didn't work. Tears flooded form her. "Okay." She sobbed.**

"**We can give you drugs to ease the pain." The doctor added.**

"**How long?" Spike finally said.**

"**It's hard to say. But, I would guess at around three months."**

**The doctor stood there, he hated giving this bad news but it had to be done.**

"**You guess?!" spike screamed at the doctor. "You can't just guess. We need to know." Madison put a hand on Spike's arm. "We need to know." He sobbed quietly. **

**Spike fell silently in his office chair. He looked at the picture he had on his desk. It was one of Madison; she was wearing a blue tank top and jeans. She wore a big smile on her face, she looked happy.**

**Tears fell onto the picture in Spike's hands, tears from him.**

"**Hey." Dawn said walking in and closing the door behind her.**

**He didn't say anything, just wiped the tears from his face and forced himself to look up.**

"**How's Madi?" she asked, Spike was fearing she would ask him that.**

"**She's fine." He nodded trying to convince himself.**

"**You sure? You don't look too…."**

"**I said she's fine." Spike raised his voice a little. **

"**Okay." Dawn said and headed for the door. She looked back hearing Spike crying.**

"**Spike, Are you okay?" she walked up to the vampire and held him, he let the tears fall. **

"**It's all my fault." He said.**

"**What is? What's wrong sweetie?"**

"**She's dying. It's cancer." Dawn let go of Spike and fell back into a chair. She sat for a long moment letting what Spike had just said register in her brain. **

"**Cancer?" she finally said. Spike nodded.**

"**But… how?" dawn asked confused.**

"**I don't know."**

"**They can do something right?" she demanded.**

**Spike shook his head.**

**Spike entered Madison's hospital room to see she wasn't there.**

**_I'm too late_ he thought.**

"**Hey baby." A voice said from behind him. It was Madison. He squeezed her tightly.**

"**Thank god your still here." He said. **

"**Yeah. The doctor said I could go back to my usual things."**

"**You think that's wise?" spike asked with a lot of concern in his tone. **

"**Why not? I don't wana waste the last few months stuck in here."**

"**Only if that's what you want." He stroked the side of her face and pressed his lips with hers.**

"**Yeah, it is."**

**Dawn went back to her apartment. She was in a lot of shock over Madison. She couldn't lose her best friend. Too much loss in one year was just too much. **

**Andrew was already there waiting for her, he had cooked some food for the two of them. Dawn just wasn't hungry. **

"**You ready for spaghetti?" Andrew asked in his usual geeky tone.**

"**I'm sorry. I'm not hungry." Dawn said and walked straight to her bedroom. In there she cried until she fell asleep.**


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"**Hey." Madison walked into Spike's office holding a piece of paper.**

"**Hey." He replied looking up from his work.**

"**I have something I need to talk to you about." She said sitting down on a chair opposite him.**

**He looked up knowing he was not going to like the topic. Ever since they found out he had been avoiding talking about it, almost like it had never happened.**

"**I have made a list. Of things I wana do before I die." **

"**Oh." Spike said. It was all he could say.**

"**I want you to help me with it."**

**A cold shiver went down Spike's back; he knew she was going to die. He didn't want to accept it but he had to, for her.**

"**Okay, what's first?"**

**Madison and Spike stood outside on the streets peering through a shop window.**

"**You sure you still wana go through this?" Spike asked.**

**Madison nodded. She was scared.**

**As they walked in they heard the needle making a buzzing noise, Madison's eyes widened. The first thing on her list was to get a tattoo. She had yet to pick one out, but when she saw it, she knew it was the one for her.**

**It was a small rose with a love heart on the stem. It was beautiful.**

**Madison grabbed Spike's hand when she was in the seat, the man leaning over her with the needle was a fat guy with a grey beard. He had loads of piercings all over his face and even one between his nose. It was a big bull ring and if he hurt her Madison sure as hell would pull it out of him. **

**Madison and Spike walked out of the tattoo shop laughing. Well, spike was laughing at Madison because she was in pain. She even cried when the needle touched her skin. **

"**It's not funny." She slapped Spike's arm. **

"**I'm sorry." He said pulling her towards him and kissing her lips. **

"**Mmm." Madison said after they pulled apart.**

"**So, what's next?" Spike asked.**

"**This one may take a while. I wana travel the world." Madison's eyes were filled with hope that Spike would somehow make that happen.**

"**I have an idea." He smiled and pulled her towards the car, the soon were speeding back to Wolfram and Hart.**

"**So does this work again?" Madison asked as Willow moved around her inserting the remaining wires in the right place.**

"**Well, you put on this helmet and you can actually see the places you wana see." She put the helmet on Madison's face. "It feels like your actually there." She added.**

**The first place Madison went was back home, she was in Mexico. It was a sunny day, as usual, and the sky was blue. She walked along the beech and threw a stone into the crystal blue water; it traveled along the top of the water for miles. Madison could remember the first time she did that, it was sunset and she sneaked out of the house to meet her dad when he returned form work, her dad was a fisherman and came back home about sunset. Her mum didn't let her go meet him.**

**When she saw her dad she ran towards him and he picked her up and spun her around. **

**The two of them walked along the beech and he picked up a stone and threw it. Madison was so impressed and begged him to teach her, he did. That was the last memory she had of him.**

**Madison took the helmet off a while later. Spike was asleep in a chair next to her so she woke him up. **

"**Hey." He said stretching.**

"**Thank you." She said and held him in a tight embrace.**

**Spike hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. "Anything for you." He said and they went back to their apartment. **

**When Andrew woke up Dawn was gone. He was worried about her lately, she hadn't been herself. Every time he asked her what was wrong she ignored him and mostly went into a different room. He hoped it wasn't something he had done. He couldn't bare the thought of hurting the one he loved. He did love her, and was going to prove it. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and placed them onto the soft cream carpet. He opened the draw at the side of the bed and pulled out a box. **

**He opened it and admired the ring inside. It was diamond and sparkly. He wanted nothing more than to watch her open it and her face light up. He wanted nothing more than to marry her, Mrs. Andrew Wells. **

**Faith, Andrew, Dawn, Giles and Willow gathered in Spike's office. Apparently he had an important announcement to make. Willow and Dawn already knew what it was about, Madison.**

"**As you may know, me and Madison are a couple." Spike began, suddenly the door opened and Gunn came rushing in. **

"**Sorry." He said out of breath.**

"**Okay, well after the explosion. The doctors found that…. Madison…." Spike found it hard to get the words out.**

"**She has cancer. She's dying." He finally said after a moments pause. **

**Everyone gasped and looked shocked.**

"**I'm really sorry." Giles was the first to say.**

**Spike didn't want their pity; all he wanted was them to take over a while for him. **

"**I want you guys to look after this place for a while. I'm going to take some time off to care for Madison." Everyone nodded.**

"**And, Madi doesn't want anyone else to know."**

**The slayers gathered in the gym waiting for Faith. Madison felt nervous, she was paranoid that everyone was looking at her differently, like they knew. It was just in her head of course, she had kept it silent now for almost four weeks. A month out of her three months left on earth. Two months left, she kept telling herself in the mirror. She wasn't prepared to die. Not like this.**

**Faith walked in and disturbed her thoughts. She looked at Madison and Madison then knew that she knew.**

**Madison found training the hardest; she had a tight knot in her chest. At the end she began to walk out, Faith called her back.**

"**I'm very sorry." Faith sad and held a reassuring hand on Madison's arm.**

"**I don't need you pity." She said and walked out.**

**When Madison walked into her apparent, Spike was waiting for her. **

"**What he got planned for tonight then?" he asked his tone soft.**

"**Promise you won't laugh?" **

**He held his hand up mockingly. She laughed and pulled the list from her pocket. Spike tried to take a peek form it but she wouldn't let him.**

"**I wana sing. On stage." She placed the paper back in her pocket. **

"**Done." **

**Spike sat in Lorne's club. He had found the keys in a box of Angel's stuff he found in a cupboard. Spike didn't know the name of the club, so when he found the keys just after Angel's death he named it 'The Green Room' after Lorne himself. **

**Madison stood in front of a microphone and began to sing. Spike was the only one watching, so he thought, and smiled when she sung to only him.**

**She had the sweetest voice and it took his breath away. Of course Spike didn't have a breath to take away, but if he did it would have. **

**When the song finished a clap came from the back of the room.**

"**Fabulous." A familiar voice shouted over his own clapping. **

"**Lorne!" spike shouted when he turn around and ran over to his old friend.**

**The two hugged as Madison made her way off stage. **

**Spike turned around to face Madison and introduced Lorne to his girlfriend. **

**Madison suddenly didn't feel well, she held her chest. **

"**You okay?" spike asked full of concern and worry.**

"**Yeah, I'm…" then it all went black. **


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"_**Madison." A voice called out for her. She knew the voice although she hadn't heard it for years.**_

"_**Mum?" she asked as a woman appeared. She was beautiful, almost the same as Madison. She had black hair though, and big brown eyes. She wore a long white dress with sleeves that went with the wind. There was no wind though, Madison couldn't feel any. A bright light was making her mum glow.**_

"_**Yes Madi, it's me."**_

"_**But… what…?" **_

"_**Madison, I need you to listen to me. Family is the most important thing. Remember that."**_

"_**Wait. Don't go." Madison screamed as she started to fade away.**_

"_**I'll see you soon." Then she was gone.**_

_**Madison heard more voices, one's that seemed to be distant and then get louder….**_

"**She's waking up." One voice said. When Madison opened her eyes she realized it was Spike. **

"**What happened?" she asked.**

"**Your in the hospital Madison." Another man said, he was a doctor. The one who told her she had cancer.**

"**Why?" tears ran down her face. "Am I dying? Now?"**

**Spike's eyes filled up too, he didn't want to lose her, not yet.**

"**Madison." The doctor said, the tone he sued was not a good tone. When doctors usually spoke in that tone it meant something was up, something bad. So, it was true, she was dying.**

"**Your condition has deteriorated; you only have a few more weeks left."**

**It felt like a bomb had hit them both. Madison didn't want to die, she had a thirst for life that made Spike fall in love with her. It didn't seem fair that when he found someone, he had to lose them again. **

"**What's next on your list?" spike asked when the doctors had gone.**

"**I've been thinking, there's something I didn't put down. I want to spend a day with my family."**

"**Fine." He said and walked out.**

**Madison laid in the hospital bed, Dawn had been to see her it only made her feel worse. She didn't want to leave anyone. Dawn had been so nice to her and she repaid her by leaving. By dying. **

"**Hey pet." Spike said form the doorway.**

"**Go away." Madison said and turned away from him.**

"**I have a surprise for you." He said and three people came in.**

"**Hey Madi." The old man said, Madison looked up and her eyes filled with tears. **

"**Grandpa." Madison held her hand over her face and the old man embraced her. **

"**It's great to see you." The old women said and joined in on the embrace.**

**When they had pulled away to give Madison some air the other guy stepped forward.**

"**Hey sis." He said, he was holding a bunch of flowers, they were lilies, Madison's favorite.**

"**Tony." She said, her Mexican accent really sounded strong when she was with her family. **

**Spike stood at the door and admired his handy work. He then left them alone so they could catch up.**

"**Spike is it?" the old man asked stepping out of the room.**

"**Yeah." Spike answered.**

"**Thank you. You don't know what you've done for us. When you called I thought that Madison was going through this alone, but I see she has you. You love her don't you?" the old man asked.**

"**Yeah. Very much." Spike could feel his eyes watering up once more. **

"**Marry her."**

"**Excuse me?"**

"**Marry her, ask her to marry you." The old man almost sounded like he was begging Spike to get down on one knee.**

"**I asked her, ages ago. She said no." spike leaned against the window. He peered in and saw Madison, how she was before. Happy and smiling, always smiling.**

"**Maybe this time the answer maybe different." The old man pattered Spike on the back and walked back into the room.**


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"**Spike." Madison said with a weak smile. Spike walked in and placed the flowers down beside her. He planted a kiss on her lips and sat next to her.**

"**How you feeling?" he asked already knowing she had gotten worse. He couldn't bear to see her like this but was determined to stick by her, no matter what. **

"**Thank you for bringing my family." Madison said and held her hands out for Spike, he took them, they were cold and pale. **

**She was weak and lost her smile that brightened up every room,**

**what was left in its place was a weak one that felt pain and quivered with every word.**

"**Anything for you pet." He said and kissed her hands. Tears filled up in his eyes but he immediately kept them back so Madison couldn't see them. He didn't want to scare her. **

"**I love you." She said, tears in her own eyes.**

"**I no." Spike said. He did know she loved him, he knew form **

**the beginning. From the moment he saw her, he knew.**

"**Spike." She said shaking her hand in his. "There's one more thing, on the list." She pulled out the piece of paper and held it out to him. He took it and read.**

"**To get married?" he asked reading aloud from the paper.**

"**Not just that, to get married to you." She gave another **

**weak smile and Spike couldn't hold back the tears no longer. He let them roll down him face. **

**Although he was smiling because he was happy, he was crying because he was sad. He knew she would die soon. She would never get to do the normal things girls her age did, the mistakes they made and learned from. To then grow up into a beautiful women; that she already was.**

"**I'll go get a minister." Spike jumped up and kissed the top of her head slightly.**

"**I love you." She shouted after him. He didn't hear, Spike was already down the hall to find the minister.**

**People say that before death your life flashes before your eyes. **

**Madison saw just that, her as a child, her mother and father,**

**the rest of her family, and Spike. She loved him so dearly and hated inflicting this pain on him. She wanted to die alone, and then she did. The last thing she felt was a cold sweat. **

**And then nothing. Total blackness is a way to describe it. **

**One minute you're there, the next you're dropped off the face of the earth. **

**Dead.**


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"**Spike, the cars here." Andrew shouted. Spike was standing in front of Willow who was making sure his suit looked presentable. Madison would have killed him if he looked a mess to her funeral. **

**Spike said nothing the whole way to the funeral, he just stared into space. No one could really imagine what he was going through; none of them had had their partners die before the wedding. Spike was totally on his own. He felt guilt for leaving her.**

**Spike put his hand in his pocket and started fiddling with some paper. Then he remembered what it was.**

_**Two days ago…**_

_**Spike ran sat in his office flooding in his own tears. His pain was mixed with the whiskey he had been drinking. He couldn't believe she was dead, he had been expecting it. But not like this. He wanted to be with her when she died.**_

_**Spike stared down at the pictures that sat on his desk, two of them. One for each of the women he had lost; Buffy Ann Summers, and Madison Marie Sanchez. Quickly he put them in the pocket of his black jacket and wiped his eyes. He was going to be strong.**_

**When they arrived at the church, everything was how Madison would have wanted it. Flowers everywhere, lilies. She loved lilies.**

**Spike remained silent throughout the service. Tears often stained his cheeks but he wiped them off. He couldn't show a sign of weakness.**

"**It's okay to cry." A voice said from nowhere. He looked to where he heard it.**

"**Buffy?" he whispered looking over at the women sat beside him.**

"**What you say?" dawn asked form his other side.**

"**She was there." Spike pointed to where Buffy was seated, she was gone. Then he saw her once more, she was leaving through the door.**

**Spike ran out of the church into the night. She studied everywhere, Buffy was nowhere. Then she was, knelt by Madison's gravestone.**

**Spike went over to her.**

"**She was beautiful." Buffy said placing down some flowers gently.**

"**Yeah." Spike had a look of confusion on his face that Buffy picke dup on immediately.**

"**Don't worry, I am dead this time. Madison gave me a message for you." Spike had a look of hope in his eyes. Maybe she wasn't dead?**

**No, she was.**

"**She loves you you know? And I can see why, the same reason I did. You maybe a monster, but you were a man to her. And you still are, to me too." Then Buffy was gone.**

**Spike peered at the flowers Buffy had left. On them were a piece of paper, he picked up the paper and began to read;**

_**Dearest Spike.**_

_**I love you with all my heart, you know that and I hope you continue to. I'm sorry you couldn't be there, I didn't want you to. I knew it was my time. Everything happens for a reason after all. I loath myself to cause you this pain, to cause everyone this pain. But I love you so much and I hope you remember that. You were my guardian Angel.**_

_**Madison.**_

"**No, you were mine." Spike mumbled to the letter.**

"**Thought I'd find you out here." Lorne said walking out of the church and joining Spike. The air was thick and cold, but neither noticed. Spike folded up the paper and placed it in his pocket.**

"**Any idea's on what your gona do now?" Lorne asked putting a arm over Spike, the two began walking back to the cars. Spike thought of the question. What was he going to do now?**

"**You know what Lorne? I'm gona carry on living."**


	21. epilogue

_Epilogue._

_So many things have happened over the hundred and odd years I have been alive. So much of it bad, most that I myself have caused, and so much good. The first good thing that came into my life I thought was being sired. I was wrong. The best thing was Buffy. She was the first women I had loved, she had made me good and carved me into the vampire with a soul I am today. Many things have helped too, things like Angel, the little git, oh yeah, and the friends I have now. _

_Angel was a brother to me, we hated each other at first, but it was that hate that kept us strong, that hate that kept us brothers. After the death of Buffy, I thought I'd never get over it. Angel was there for me, everyone was. Angel knew what I was going through, for he too had lost Buffy._

_Everyone had lost Buffy, I was just too stupid to see that others were hurting, not just me. _

_Madison came into my life at the same time my brother, Angel, bowed out. He was killed in front of me. Leaving me to care for the new slayer, Madison. She was so beautiful, blonde hair and a toned slim body. She was Mexican, and so had a thick accent that made me like her even more. Soon that like turned to love. I couldn't get enough of her; we spent most of our spare time together. She was truly amazing. She was a slayer; she'd had all the qualities of one, even the short life span. She was just nineteen years of age when she died. That was too young; she hadn't seen or done the stuff she had wanted. She had done some, I made sure of that. She had made a list of things she wanted to do before she went, the first was get a tattoo, and she did. It was a heart with a rose over it. The second was travel the world, so she used this virtual helmet Willow had made, the next was sing on stage. She had the most beautiful voice. She was singing to me only and I felt that, I felt each and every lyric she sang._

_After that I got her family to fly over, well what was left of her family anyway, her grandfathers' a pretty good guy. I just wish Madison could have done the last thing on her list, to marry, to marry me._

_Madison's funeral was the hardest, I didn't want to go. Because I knew that if I did, she really was gone, she wasn't coming back. For a while after her death I thought that, I pretended that she was alive. Cause, if she was alive, she wasn't dead. If I pretended hard enough, she still was. I used to sit in our apartment and talk to her, as if she was there. Stupid really, I knew she wasn't, but I guess that talking to her gave me comfort. But, now I don't need to try and pretend she's alive, I know she's not, she's dead. She died four weeks before Christmas. But, I know that wherever I go, I'll always have Madison with me. Looking down and, oh bloody hell, you know what I mean._


End file.
